Episode Transcript
Tacoma Elopement Chapel Elope 253 with Rochelle Bergstrom
===
[00:00:00] This is Channel 2 5 3, move to Tacoma on this episode of Move to Tacoma. I just had somebody that just did this maybe a month or two ago. They, they said that they had a big wedding and all their family was there and it was just kind of like a whirlwind and they didn’t really enjoy it. Wow. Just because it was so chaotic.
Um, and then they’re like, we wanna do it again, but this time it’s just for us. Mm-hmm. Channel 2 5 3 is member supported. I’m producer Doug Mackey, and I hope you’ll show your support by going to channel two five three.com/membership and join. Thank you. We are back. I’m Marguerite and I want you. To move to Tacoma.
Move to Tacoma. Move to Tacoma. Move to Tacoma. You’ll like it. Move to Tacoma. Move to Tacoma. Move to tacoma com. I’m Marguerite with Move to Tacoma, and I’m here today with Rochelle Bergstrom from Elope 2 5 3. Welcome back, Rochelle. [00:01:00] Thank you. Thank you. Disclosure. This is not Rochelle’s. First time on the podcast.
No, no. In fact, I listened to the original this morning. Oh, did you? It was from, uh, October of 2017. Wow. We were so like sweet summer children. Like we had no idea what was coming. Oh my God. What did we say? Well, well, me specifically, I can’t talk about you. Um, but just I had only done 11 weddings at that point.
What? And. I, I sound, I spoke with, we sound young. Oh my gosh. And I spoke with such confidence that I knew what I was doing. She’s returning battle weary business lady. Yeah. You ready to tell all okay. No. No. Okay. Well, let’s, let’s recap because, uh, the people, the people don’t probably don’t know you. This is the first time being on video.
That was an audio podcast. Yeah. Um, but first I wanna cheers because last time you were on here, you had done 11 weddings. How many weddings have you done now? How many Colemans have eloped right here in these walls? Uh, as of this [00:02:00] evening, ’cause I have one wedding later today, it will be 1,293. Cheers.
Cheers to you. 1,293 elopements. Can you even move a right here in downtown Tacoma? I know, I know. I love it. I know. Okay, well, let’s, let’s dig in. Let me ask you first, when did you move to Tacoma and why? Well, let’s, uh, it was 2014 and, uh, funny enough, we talked about this in the first podcast that we did.
They don’t know that I know, but I like to talk about it because. I don’t know if things have changed. Yeah, I don’t know. Lots so much has changed in nine years. So, sorry, let me, I’m getting ahead of myself. Uh, so I moved here in 2014 and I moved here because really my life was over to here. All your friends moved to Chicago.
All my friends were here. Including me. Yeah. And she had to, she was forced by peer pressure. There was peer pressure, like, you know, there was some, you know, uh, people trying to like, throw [00:03:00] parties and be like, look how cool we are over here and let’s go out to dinner at this new cool place. Basically just trying to romance the whole thing.
So, um, was it false advertising? Not at all. I mean, you’ve been here 12 years now. What do you think? No. No, it, it’s no other place that I would’ve rather have raised my kids. Yeah. Anyway. Um, so, uh, what was I saying about the. Oh, it doesn’t matter. Go ahead. Well, okay, so you live in Fur Crest, right? Yes. Yes. So what do you like about, and for people who don’t know, fur Crest is like hugged on three sides by Tacoma, and you’re right kind of in the middle, but you’re your own city.
What do you like about living there? I, it is like a little community and they still have, I, I always say that it’s like May Mayberry, is that what it was called? Mm-hmm. Uh, where we have, um, there’s parades and there’s like, like old school things happening there that just feel really homey. We have, um, our rec [00:04:00] center and our little pool and um, you know, just tot lott lot, you know what I’m talking about?
Yeah. And, um, everyone seems to know each other, uh, and. Yeah, it just feels very. Homey, I guess I, I remember every year like watching your Instagram stories and there’s like this e epic trick or treating and the kids are having a good time and the parents seem to be having a suspiciously good time. Yes.
Uh, well, uh, I have not found it still after all these years. I’ve not found it, but, um, I hear that some, uh, parents get shots when they’re, uh, you know, the parents get a treat as well. Treat little. That sounds like it’s definitely against the law, but I’m glad that the parents of Forrest are having a nice time.
I cannot confirm nor deny that this exists, but no, it is amazing. Uh, people get so into it, they dress up in full. There’s one guy that dresses up like Jason. Is that the guy? The guy. And he has a chain, a real chainsaw. The chain, the chain’s removed. So no one’s, no one, no one’s [00:05:00] being hurt. Okay? Um, and he will chase.
Children and adults with this chainsaw. Wow. Core memories. And you know what though? It really is scared me. I mean, obviously they’re not gonna hurt me, but move to fur cre. Oh my gosh. But they, everyone goes out of, out of their way. One of my favorite decorations, sorry, sidebar, A single balloon hanging out of the, uh, the gutter, someone to guide in front of their house.
And I was like, yes. So Fur Crest is a place to be for Halloween? I think so. And as a, uh, as a homeowner on a busy street in, well, not busy street, but like mm-hmm. A, a central street in fur crest. Like, you get a lot of traffic. Like how many, like when do you turn the light on and when do you turn the light off?
Like. Uh, we’ve never turned the light off. We always have leftover candy, but, um, I wanna say 200 plus. What? Yeah. I mean, there are people that say like, oh, my block hasn’t gotten a trick or treater in years. Yeah. But that is not the case in Forrest. No, no. It’s, it’s popping. It’s, it’s popping. Okay. Yeah. And, um, we are, we are [00:06:00] not even on the main drag.
Like we are a little bit off, so I have no idea how many the people I. They set up tents, like those little, um, kind of cover Yeah. Areas and they sit outside with fire pits and pass out candy. That way they don’t even have kids go to the door. Incredible. I know. Well, I would love to talk a little bit, like one of the things that kind of sparked this like, oh, come back on the podcast, is we’ve had a lot of conversations about just like running a business.
Like we both have been running our businesses about the same amount of time. Like, you know, moved to Tacoma started in 2015. I think Elope 2, 5 3 started in 2017. Yes. And can you tell the story of like you, what was your background before you started your business in downtown Tacoma? And like how did that come to pass?
Yeah. Okay. So I was, um, in marketing and advertising when I started this business. Uh, and, uh, well, that’s not what sparked this idea. Uh, what sparked this idea was my husband and I eloping, uh. [00:07:00] Gosh, do I have to admit how many years? Yes, I’m proud. That’s right. We’re proud of Beijing. We’re proud. Um, it was 25 years ago.
We just celebrated 25 year anniversary. Incredible. And, uh, we got, uh, married in Vegas. So we elope, we like eloped, eloped. Um, and it was so great to just show up. Everything was ready. I didn’t have to think or worry about a thing. Yep. And I was like, God, that would’ve been so nice to have done that. Home, at home, you know, um, where, um.
It just wouldn’t have been such a hassle to get down there, I guess. Well, and spoiler, I was a guest at r’s. You were not just a guest, you were, uh, a, uh, bridesmaid. This is not an impartial interview. You are an insider, but the, as a guest. It was wonderful. I’d never been to an elopement before and this was like two, 2000.
2001. 2000, 2000. Yeah. And I, I’d never been to an elopement before and it was, it was so fun. I’d always been to these giant, like, you know, I’m from a big Catholic family, so [00:08:00] everybody’s pitching in, but it’s always complicated. There’s always some drama, like I could definitely see why people would prefer not to do it that way and would prefer to do something smaller.
Exactly. Yeah, so, um, so I got this idea in my head and it just kind of bounced around there for quite, quite some time. But, um, meanwhile, I am, uh, you know, going, I went to UB Tacoma and I got my degree and I, um, got a great job in marketing, brand marketing specifically. And, um, yeah, I just thought I would, I would love to open a wedding chapel.
I thought about that for a long time. And, um, we talked about this before, but, uh. I was listening to your podcast a long time ago, and I heard about Space Works. And Space Works. Uh, really gave me the confidence and kind of the know-how. Like they helped me write a business plan on putting this together, and it was just gonna be a weekend thing that I, let’s just see if people like it and.
They did. So can you tell folks what Space Works [00:09:00] is and what your experience of going through the program was like? Yeah, so Space Works. Um, I mean they, they do quite a bit, but they have what’s called, I think they call it now, uh, um, an incubator program, um, where they. Bring you in. I, again, I, I think it’s the same.
It’s been a, yeah, I’m pretty sure. Yeah. Um, but they bring people in, um, and, uh, go through a training. Um, back when I did it, I think it was like 16 weeks, maybe 12 or 16 weeks. And every week we have a different subject, like we would talk about, um, taxes and accounting for one week. Next one we talk about marketing and, you know, advertising.
Um, and every week was kind of a chapter in your marketing plan. Mm. And uh, by the end of it, you had a full fledged marketing plan and it was kind of just the blueprint of how to start your business. Well, and it, my understanding is like, it’s, it’s not just the marketing, but like you said, the taxes, the business planning mm-hmm.
Connections for finding your. [00:10:00] Right. Like it’s the whole thing, right? Yes. It’s through the chamber. I think they’re like a subprogram of the chamber. It absolutely is. Yeah. So they definitely have a way of like, um, having you meet people, um, that, you know, might be helpful in your industry or even just within the community.
Yeah. And, uh, they also, um, do help with space. At least they did. Yeah. Square or, um, space Works is the name of it. So I guess that, yeah. Um, but not always. Um, for instance. This place, um, I found because my friend rented it. So, um, but they’re there to support, um, no matter what you’re looking to do. So your friend had already leased this space for a different business?
Yes. And didn’t need to use the whole space. Right. So you were like. Subleasing from him. Mm-hmm. For a while. Yes. And then eventually you were just like, how about I just take over the whole thing? And he was like, okay, I’m gonna go. That makes it sound so much easier. That really? So how would you carry that?
It wasn’t [00:11:00] hard. I mean, it just was like, um, he. Found that he didn’t need the space. He didn’t need it. And again, when I first started, it was gonna be a weekend thing that I did. ’cause I had my nine to five and I was like, let’s just see what happens. And then, you know, if you build it, will they come? And they did come and um, I started getting more and more, um, weddings, especially during the week, which you wouldn’t think that was the case.
But some people want certain, um, wedding dates and they want certain yes. You know, times and so it just kind of, it just kind of worked out, if that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. Mm-hmm. So, okay. I guess I should ask you some very basic questions. I mean, I always wanna ask, like the business lady questions about how you run it and we, we can get to that.
Okay. But I guess for the people at home, how much does it cost to get married at Elope? 2 5 3, right here in downtown Tacoma. Right here, right now? Yeah. What is, like, the cheapest one? Okay. The, the opening package is the opening package, if you’ll is, uh, [00:12:00] 5 95. That’s. $595. Yes. Yeah. And that is the whole wedding?
Yes. It’s called a, just a Oak. And it’s literally people show up. Uh, they have their, they’re gonna have their marriage license, but they just show up. We organize their marriage license. We get all that signed and taken care of. Um, we officiate, um, for them, we, um. Help them take photos. Sometimes people come with no guests and you know, I’m like, gimme your ca, gimme your phone.
I’m taking photos, you know? So I want them to still have a great experience, and they get to come to a space that’s already decorated. It’s already ready. They don’t have to stress about any of it. So one of the things that I’ve sort of been. Observing in, in the business. Like there’s like these little quirky rules.
Like you can’t just, it’s not Vegas. You can’t just decide to get married and get married in the same day, right. In Pierce County. Oh, no. So how does that work? Which I’m o I’m okay with, I don’t want anybody just wandering in, but just for people at home, you don’t just like walk in, right? Yeah. So there is a mandatory three day waiting period.
So in Washington State you have to apply for the [00:13:00] license and you have to, you have to wait three days. Think about your life decisions and make sure that that’s what you wanna do. And when you apply for the license, do you do that online or do you go in person at Pierce County? How does that work? You can do it.
Um, I think the easiest way to do it is to go in person, because that way, um, they can check your ID and do everything right in, in person. Um, however, there are some times where, you know, maybe someone, um, is deployed, they’re in the, in the, in the military or someone is in. In another state or whatever for whatever reason.
Um, you can do that. You’d have to take your paperwork to, um, uh, what is it called, where they stamp it? Uh, notary. Thank you. You know those people. Um, you can go to a notary and have them, um, take care of the paperwork for you. But, um. That’s kind of a harder way of doing, doing it, but it’s available if someone needs it.
The other thing that came up is witnesses. Yes. What are witnesses? And, and does everybody need witnesses? Everybody. And how do you do that? Like, so, um, Washington State requires [00:14:00] two witnesses. So the least amount of people you can have at, at your wedding in Washington is five. So you need the officiant, you need two people getting married, and you need.
Two witnesses, and that’s all you need. I think a lot of people don’t realize that that’s all you need. Yeah. And so what do you do if somebody is getting married and they didn’t bring any witnesses? Okay, so, um, well ahead of time. We’re always, um, communicating that they need to bring two witnesses, but if they don’t, um, we have professional witnesses for hire.
Basically everyone in Rochelle’s extended friend group has offic, like has, has witnessed a wedding here at one point or another. And you are professional witnesses. You could put that on a resume if you’d like. So fun, and I’m always like, oh my gosh, I’m about to get paid $25 to go watch somebody get married.
And I’m like, this is gonna be so strange. And then you get there and it’s like. I’m at a real wedding. Yeah. Like I am, like, these people are in love. Like this is happening. This is real. It’s real. Yeah. It’s wild. Yeah. What’s really funny is when couples come in [00:15:00] and they’re like, oh, we just need to sign stuff.
We don’t need to, actually, we don’t care. We don’t care. And I’m like, well, I go, I do have a process. It, it feels a little more like an occasion. So, um. I’ll do the music, I’ll do the things, and then they really get into it. Like I’ve had people show up in jeans before and they’re like, we just need to sign stuff.
I’m like, I go. Let’s, let’s just do a little bit of an occasion, little ing, a little ing, and it’s very sweet. So you are one of the things I admire about you as a business lady. Yeah. One of the things I think you do so well here is you just have systems and a process for everything. So guide me through, oh, by the way, we only talked about, oh, I’m realizing we only talked about the main, the, the, the, the opening package.
The opening package. The opening. But what are the, like what is the most. Expensive wedding anyone could have at elope 2, 5 3. I think that’s also important to, yeah, it’s um, 2295, $2,295. And what does a person get for a $2,295 ceremony here in downtown [00:16:00] Tacoma at Elope? 2 5 3. Dang. Okay, so, uh, you get the officiant, you get, um, the space for, um, an hour.
Um, sorry, the previous one was, it’s a little 30 minute. Got it. Feel. Yeah. Um, but you get the space for an hour, up to two hours if for photography. Um, and there is, um, a little bit of a toast. There is, um, flowers. You like martinelli’s or like Prosecco? It depends on what they prefer. Whatever you prefer.
Well, I would say it’s a donut toast. Or a cupcake Toast. And the, the beverages are complimentary. Oh, complimentary. Yes. That’s lovely. Whatever you desire. Right. Um, so. So that, like I said, a little celebratory. Um, I love a donut. I love a donut tower. I decorate it right here, and it’s just this, uh, it’s fun to have something a little different.
Yeah, little non-traditional. Um, what else? Oh, flowers. So a bouquet, a boutonniere, um, and, um, a customized ceremony. So this is, this is really fun for me because as the [00:17:00] officiant, um, most of the time, if it’s one of those, you know, just, uh, just little packages, um. I have a standard ceremony that I use. Um, and then if you are doing like the bigger package where we have a little more time, uh, I get to sit down with you and get to know you a little bit and, uh, customize the ceremony.
So that’s really fun. And again, this is like your system and your process. So if somebody’s like just doing an elope and go, they’re gonna like fill out a form online and they answer some questions and that. And that helps you put together the vows and everything. Yep. So when all they have to do is show up and you’ve got it all ready to go.
Yep. Yep. And then if they do the whole like package, the the full package, they’re gonna meet with you in person and you’re gonna work together to design custom vows. Yes. Is that it? Yeah. And not just vows like I I Music, and music we do for all, all the ceremonies. Okay. So let me, let me back up. Uh, so, um, it’s, it’s included, it’s, no, I’m just kidding.
Um, [00:18:00] so whatever wedding it is that someone, someone books, oh. By the way, photography’s also included in the bigger package. So in the bigger pa like professional photography. Yeah. I don’t wanna miss that. Right. Um, but, and are you the photographer in the bigger package or No. You have a, like a wedding card come in and do it?
I have, I have, uh, contractors that do it, Uhhuh. Um, although I have been known to, to do it from time to time. You take a mean picture? Uh, yeah. Um, so every package that’s booked, we send a questionnaire to them beforehand. Asking questions like that. Do you, what kind of, um, entrance music, what kind of exit music do you want?
Zoom, that’s another thing that we offer is Right. Um, that’s something that came out of the pandemic that, uh, was fantastic and I’m not getting rid of it so well, and I’m, I’m actually thinking about one of the times that I came in to witness, obviously it was during the pandemic and it was like their family couldn’t come.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And so it was just me and another person, but we look up on the TV and the, the, the, the. Spouses could look up at the TV and see all of their friends and family, like watching the, the, the wedding. Like, so it’s not even [00:19:00] just like the family can watch, but they can watch the family watch. Yeah.
Which I think is so nice. Yeah. I have it set up so that you can see everybody that’s joined. Yeah. Uh, it’s so cool. Like we have people from all literally all over the world that. Tune in to weddings sometimes. Oh, man. To the point where it’s like two in the morning somewhere. Oh. And then I’ll have someone in like, their pajamas, but they have like a bow tie on, or like, it’s like, you know, five in the morning and they have a little, a little champagne glass of Yeah.
You know, whatever. So it’s, it’s really special. I, I love that part and I, I don’t think that ever would’ve. Come to happen without the pandemic. Right. So there’s the silver lining of that whole thing. Well, I’m getting the, I’m getting the nod from Doug, so I’m gonna take us to the break and then Okay. We’ll be back for more questions.
Sound great. This is Eric Hanberg, host of the Channel 2 5 3 Podcast Citizen Tacoma, and this is producer Doug. When my wife and I needed to sell our condo in downtown Tacoma, we wanted an expert in that niche market and I needed an expert [00:20:00] in selling a home as part of an estate sale. We both turned to Marguerite Martin from move to tacoma.com.
She’s a real estate matchmaker. She finds you the perfect agent for whatever your situation. Not every agent knows what to do in every situation. You want an agent that knows your situation. Best of all, your agent pays Marguerite a finder’s fee out of their commission. So using a real estate matchmaker to help you find the best agent won’t cost you a thing, visit move to tacoma.com.
Connect with Marguerite and find the agent that’s right for you. Thank you Marguerite Martin and move to Tacoma for your longtime support of Channel 2 5 3 move to Tacoma. Alright, and we’re back with Rochelle Bergstrom from Elope 2 5 3. Welcome back. Thank you. So, um, I would like to talk about like, just.
The business of running an elopement chapel. We’ve spoken a little bit about your systems and like the different things that you’ve had to put together, but like what have the biggest lessons been as a business owner, particularly, you stayed in this location, one location, not quite a [00:21:00] decade, but you’re getting there.
Yeah. Like in downtown Tacoma. What have you learned? What I learned specifically about what? All of it. Oh gosh. All of it. Like running up. I mean, I think there are a lot of people listening that maybe don’t wanna do the exact same business, obviously, but like, you know, they’re curious. They have their own dream.
They’re in their own corporate job, they’re imagining going off on their own. Like what would you say to them? Okay. So I mean, we talked a little bit about space Works. It’s great to have someone kind of hold your hand and learn about the, the process. Um, but especially being downtown Tacoma, like. The community, like people genuinely are rooting for you.
Yeah. Which is really great. Um, and, uh. What’s something that’s really fun is that, um, couples that get married here, for instance, they’ll go out to have photos taken outside, out and about and people are cheering. We have Oh, like, that’s so nice. They’re not like all used to it now. They’re just not used to seeing brides walking around all the time.
Oh, they’re totally used to it. But they’re, but they, they still celebrate them. Like they’ll, [00:22:00] people will honk their horns. Oh, nice. They’ll be like, you look beautiful. And, um, even the folks upstairs, um, they have these cow bells that they’ll ring sometimes if they’re, if they’re. Working, they’ll ring their cow bells as celebration for those.
Well, that’s so nice. So like, it’s just everyone is so supportive and the energy that you get from being downtown is unlike I think anything else. Um, so you would encourage some, if they’re considering a location downtown or different parts of the city. You, you, you, you give downtown Tacoma five stars for your business.
Uh, let’s say four and a half because Okay. What’s the opportunity for growth? Well, um, there are some interesting characters sometimes. Yeah. Um, about, and, um, um, folks, um, how do I put this delicately? Uh, they, they leave little messes in front of my door. Mm-hmm. So there’s, there’s things that you just have to be aware of.
Right? Right. That’s city life. Right. That’s city life. So there’s so real talk about city life real talk about city life is sometimes. I’m not even tell, I’m not gonna tell you what I’ve had clean up, but you’ve seen [00:23:00] things. I’ve seen things that, yeah. I don’t wish upon anybody, but this is what’s wild and this is why I asked the question, because I know you’ve seen things like we’ve talked about it.
Yeah. And yet you still want to be here. Oh yeah. And I think that’s the part that I think, you know, I think most, you know, city dwelling businesses that have stayed operating through the pandemic, post pandemic as these cities, not just ours, have been recovering. You know, you’re dealing with a lot. You know, the cities are trying to figure out how to support you while following the law and all these things, and it’s a complicated conversation.
Yeah. But you still wanna be here? I do. Absolutely. ’cause the good outweighs the bad. The good outs the bad for sure. Four and a half stars, four and a half stars, half a star. Opportunity for growth. Right. Alright. And so what are the other, like, um, so now you’re a more mature business person. Oh gosh, you’re not in Space Works anymore.
Do you have a community of other business owners that you talk with about things or like, how do you continue to sort of grow and get the support you need and get like stay, stay up to speed? [00:24:00] So, um, this is crazy to say, but like the first five years I did this all by myself. And now I actually have a staff.
It’s so weird. Staff what do, what do you mean? I mean, uh, it’s a itty bitty one, but Yeah, I do. And um, so I have an assistant manager and I have, um, well, the photographer we were mentioning earlier, um, she’s a contractor, but. You know, she’s also a fantastic business lady, so she is wonderful to talk with.
Yeah. Um, I also have a, a virtual assistant. Uh, she lives up in the Anacortes area and I have, you know. M meetings with her and we discuss all these things. So it’s just like this. Amazing, and, and this is the part I really admire because, you know, I, as you’ve known the whole time that I’ve been like a business lady myself since 2005.
And the, the thing, the, the growth I’ve, I’ve seen you do where you, you have some contractors and it’s like, okay, I’m ready to have the. Part-time assistant. And like I, I find that very inspiring. ’cause it’s [00:25:00] scary when you on a part-time assistant, even a virtual assistant, like, you know, that’s someone you’re gonna pay consistently.
Yeah. And so now you, you have to generate a certain amount of revenue to pay for somebody else before you even pay yourself. Yes. Like that’s a big leap. Where do you find the courage to do that? And how do you like. What do I mean? Like I, I’m talking for myself. I need an admin. I, I’m scared. I, I, I hear, I hear where you’re going with this.
This is about yourself. I understand. Um, but I know I’m not alone. It, it’s just a, this is so cheesy, but a leap of faith. Like, I know I’m gonna have more time. I’m gonna, I’m gonna enjoy what I do more and. Once, like once you, once you go there, you can never go back. Okay. But do you, okay, so now you have support with some of the tasks that are like, you know, keeping you at the laptop or whatever so you can get out there.
But do you just find you, you’re, I guess I’m afraid I’m just gonna eat bomb bons all day and not go out there and get the business. But you’re saying you do, you just do more weddings? I do more weddings and I, like I said, being able to really. [00:26:00] Enjoy. ’cause they don’t have to do all the admin stuff. Yeah. I get to en really enjoy sometimes.
Exactly. So like I can. Focus on, you know, uh, meeting the couples and writing the ceremonies and like that is my focus. And that’s, that’s the fun part. I love that. I know, I’m, I’m still gonna keep trying to get you to Yeah, no, no, I, please do. ’cause I’m, I’m close. I feel it. Okay. I’m motivated. So one of the reasons that I wanted to have you on was we were having coffee at Ebony and Ivory a few weeks ago, uh, looking at each other’s spreadsheets, being mutually supportive.
Mm-hmm. And as business ladies do, and we were, I I, I am recently out of my latest breakup, uh, you know, in the time, like, you know, the, the, we’ve known each other since we were teenagers. Right. And Rochelle is married to a man we went to high school with. Yeah. And, you know. I’ve had a few gentlemen through the revolving door of my life in that time, and we were talking about this and I was like, man, [00:27:00] people are getting married.
’cause you know, I’m in my, my, my salty phase and I’m just like, are people still doing that? They’re still doing that. Are people our age still doing that? They’re still doing that. Okay. And older. Yeah. And I’m like. Are they suckers? And Rochelle seems convinced. Okay. So behind the camera, we have Matt, who’s been married to his wife for 34 years.
We got Doug over here doing the sound, and almost 20 years, 19, 20 years next month. Like I, what are people? People are doing this. You’re like, why? And they like it. I need a, I need a motivational speech for love in Tacoma. Wow. And I wanna know in Tacoma in particular, you know, like who’s getting married?
What are they telling you? Why are they doing this? Okay. These are hard times for love. They’re, it is hard times for love, just for me. But we’re now, this, this podcast is my personal therapy session. Okay. So yeah, we’re getting deep, like, why are people getting married? Mm-hmm. Right? So I don’t have one answer for you.
Okay. That’s good. Is it? I want variety. You and Variety. Okay. So there’s everything [00:28:00] from, there’s some really young people. Can I, okay. Brace yourself. Brace yourself. Oh, hold on. Brace yourself. There are people that are the same age as my son getting married and I don’t know how to handle that. He’s 19, he’s 20.
He’s gonna be 21 this year. Okay. I forgot. Okay. Sorry. I just needed a moment. That’s pretty young. But also, but those people that are young, you know, my mom was 18 when she got married. My sister was 19 when she got married. I was 24 when I got married, and I thought I was old. I know, right? Yeah. But okay, so you’re saying the kids are still getting married?
The kids are still getting married. Okay. Yelling and in love, and it’s. It’s very sweet to see. Okay. Um, although there is a part of me, I’m gonna be real honest here, and I’m like, you guys have no idea. Okay. But I’m sorry. A person getting married for the first time at 35 has no idea. No. They, they, they have some idea.
Every time I see a woman getting married, I’m like, you gotta live with a man. You know about that part. Right? You’re gonna live with them day, you know, I sneak some things, I sneak some things into my ceremonies. What do you sneak in [00:29:00] there? You like, like disclaimers, like warnings. Not warnings, but more like, um, like, you know, I, so and so take you so and so just as you are.
Oh. So that’s the default setting. They have to take it out just as you are, uh, loving who you are now and who you are yet to become, because that is the, that’s the thing. We all, I’ve been married 25 years and it’s the only way you can stay married to 20, 25 years. Yeah. I think this is exactly why my husband the do it same.
He’s not the same person I, he was 25 years ago, and I’m not the same person either. Right. So, and we shouldn’t be, right? No, we shouldn’t be. Yeah. Um, there should be someone that’s there that’s a partner in growth and change, and you’re not marrying, you’re not gonna be married, quote unquote, to the same person.
Look at the coma, ful time, it’s gonna. They’re gonna change. They’re gonna change. So one of the things that you know, you’ve mentioned is like, you know, people are not always coming for their first wedding, obviously. Yes. Yeah. It could be second or third wedding and they might be [00:30:00] people who’ve reconnected with someone they knew when they were young.
Like, do you have any stories about that kind of thing? I have so many stories. Um. So yes to all of that, what you just said. Um, there are a lot of people that met in school, um, junior high, high school, that sort of thing, that they lose touch and then they find each other usually through social media. I know, I know.
Um. One of them, um, the bride was dating his brother, the groom’s brother in high school, and he said that he had a huge crush on her. Mm I Oh yeah. And then I was like, that’s so interesting. So where’s, where’s the brother? Is he gonna be here? Great. They’re like, no, we, he’s a jerk. We don’t like it. Come out.
And I’m like, okay. Oh my God. So there’s that. There’s, um, gosh, what else? Uh, yeah. People that have been married to each other that come back and get married again. And, and because they got divorced. Yes. And got remarried. Yes. Interesting. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah, there, there’s so many different scenarios I think I’ve seen.[00:31:00]
I feel like I’ve seen all the scenarios, but I’m sure something will shock me at some point. Do you ever have people come in and do vow renewal? Do people ever Absolutely. Yeah. And it, it’s just like the same price, like you just come in? Yeah. Because they don’t have to get the license. They’re just coming in and it’s the ceremony.
Yeah. Or maybe they, they got married somebody somewhere else and they wanted to do something a little more formal. Yes. Um, well. And sometimes people times people wanna do something less formal. So I’ve had people that had the big wedding and they’re like, I don’t remember any of it. I just had somebody that just did this maybe a month or two ago that they said that they had a big wedding and all their family was there and it was just kind of like a whirlwind.
And they didn’t really enjoy it just because it was so chaotic. Um, and then they’re like, we wanna do it again, but this time it’s just for us. Mm-hmm. In fact, they didn’t. I’m not using names, so I think it’s fine. They never turned in their license, uh, the first time around because it was unpleasant. It was such an unpleasant experience.
Wow. So then they went and got another license and they’re like, [00:32:00] this is the real one. So when you think about how much it costs to get married Yeah, like in 2026, I mean, I think, you know, it was, it’s always been expensive and in fact weddings are kind of supposed to be expensive historically. They’re kind of a display of like familial wealth and all that.
Right? There’s a lot of loaded stuff. But what is the average cost of a wedding in Pierce County right now? Do you know? It’s, um, in the range of 33 to 35,000 average. That’s the average wedding. Yeah. Yeah, I, I, nuts to me, I follow like a wedding planner that’s a client of mine and they had a post recently and I think they’d been getting some kind of antagonizing comments about, you know, how expensive the wedding were.
And they were like, y’all, you have no idea how many a hundred thousand dollars weddings are. There are, there are a lot, and I think this is kind of like when you get into real estate, you realize like, oh, there’s some people that have. A lot of money and weddings are kind of, when you find that out and the pressure to, you know, keep up with your friends’ weddings.
Oh yeah. And it’s, it’s such a [00:33:00] thing. And so to turn away from that and choose this and, and to hear this story, sorry, I’m just like, but the, the story you just told, like they did all that and it was not even about them really in the end. Yeah. Yeah. And that’s what I think is. The best part of like, you know, ’cause I had the, the best seat in the house, let’s be honest.
Mm-hmm. I had the best seat in the house. ’cause I officiate. Yes. And so, um, the people that get married here, I find, um, they’re not doing it for the, the, like you said, the grandiose like show of their love. You know, it’s, um, when it’s here, it’s intimate and it’s like, it’s almost like you could. Feel it. I know I’m getting a little woowoo on you, but like, oh, no, you can literally, it’s like I, I, I always say it’s like a drug, like if.
It’s contagious. Like when you’re here, maybe you should come, uh, be a professional witness a little more. You know, it’s been a while since I’ve, you know, been around the love energy. Maybe that’s my problem. Like, gimme a little rinsed off. Like, yeah, maybe that’ll help. Uh, when you say why people get married, maybe you [00:34:00] just come and.
Witness it a little bit. Well, and you’ve talked before about being a love geek. Yes. Yeah. Like you love being around that energy. Oh my god. You that hopeful, seriously, is a drug. It is like, shoot it into my face. What is it about that? Like what is it about that? I don’t know. It, it’s, there’s just joy and hope and.
All these, this excitement for their future together, you know? Um, and what’s really interesting is, um, I don’t always officiate by the way. So if someone wants to bring in their own officiant, they’re welcome to do that. Um, although I get a little jealous ’cause I like doing it. Um, but someone brought their friend, um, to do it and oh my God, I, I was like, that was the most amazing ceremony and.
What she was talking about were these couple, talking to this couple about, you know, everyone loves a wedding, but I really love a wedding that has an older couple that’s seen it, seen some stuff, you know, [00:35:00] and they really know what they’re getting into. Um. Sorry, I don’t even remember what your original question is.
I just got wrapped up. No, keep going. I just got wrapped up listening and it was, it’s just so true that people that either they’ve known each other forever, like I’ve had people that have been together 15, 20 years and are just now getting married. And maybe that is the, the legal part is because of the taxes.
Maybe it is because of those things, but, um, when they have to sit here in this, or stand here in this intimate space and talk about. Their love for each other, um, even though they’ve been together 20 years. I mean, people get really wrapped up in it. Some, one of the things you’ve talked about with me before is around this, the questions that you ask people.
Mm-hmm. And like the patterns in the answers. Yeah. So what are the questions you ask people and what do they say? You wanna know where people meet. Is that it? No. Oh, no. Thank you for reminding me. We were gonna talk about that. Okay. I do wanna know about that. We’ll come back to that. But I was thinking more about like, you know, you ask people like, how do you know [00:36:00] this person loves you?
Or when did you know you were in love with them? Oh yeah. Okay. Like what, what are the questions you ask? Um, well, one of them I’ll tell you is, um, what are the little things that they do that make you feel loved? And this ties in. I mean, I know you’ve read the book, um, the Five Five Love Languages. I’ve read every single Self-Help relationship book.
Yes. I’m, I am familiar with Dr. Chapman’s work. Work. Got it. Get it. But that, I mean, it kind of ties into that because, um, when you ask somebody, if you just flat out ask them, why do you love this person? Right. I mean, you can’t, you’re on the spot and you don’t know what to say. Yeah. But like talk, talking about little things are, is pretty incredible.
So I will tell you, can you guess what the number one thing is? I can, because you’ve told me before. Oh, shoot. Okay. Um, I just think it’s so surprising. No, but it makes complete sense. Yeah. So I’ll tell everybody else. Um, it is, um. They bring me coffee in the morning. Yeah. You know what? And I, I will say, and I don’t know, this might be an overshare, but like I [00:37:00] remember hearing that.
And, oh God, I’m gonna make me cry. Oh. But like, I remember hearing you say that and thinking like, oh my God. Like I have never been in a relationship where somebody brought me coffee, like, oh wow, that must be amazing. Like, I can’t even imagine it. And then like, like, you know, my last relationship, like early on he started bringing me coffee and I was like.
I’ve arrived, like it’s here and now. I know like if one of these suckers can bring me coffee, they can all bring me coffee until the day I die. And I mean, like, that’s kind of like, coffee is such a simple thing, but it’s, it’s kind of a metaphor for. Care. Care and thoughtfulness. Right. Just being able to receive it and offering it.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What else? What else do you hear besides coffee? What else should we be expecting these men to do and vice versa? Of course, and vice versa. Women bring a lot, women bring a lot, you know, uh, this is something that I actually don’t do in my own, my own relationship, but I hear it all the time.
But you, you’ve heard it’s a best practice. I do. Um, okay. [00:38:00] Let me come back to that. Uh, leaving notes for their other, for their significant other like little notes, little love notes. Yeah. Like I go, I never do that. Maybe I should step up my game on that one. But I just remember that, um, Craig has done that.
My, my husband’s done that a couple times and that’s so nice. And it is such a small gesture. That means that that person was thinking of you, I guess means a lot to people. Yeah. Yeah. So. In closing, we had been talking about, um, like. I, I, one of the things I said is, you know, people are always saying like, I don’t know where to meet people in Tacoma.
Mm. And I was like, you need to start tracking. Yes. Like, where did all these couples meet? And then you could have like the blog post to end all blog posts, like the most data on where people getting married in Tacoma met their partners. What do you have for us today? What hot, hot info do you have for us?
Hot info? I’m, I don’t know how hot it is because I guess you, you could probably guess it’s online. Really? Yeah. People are getting married. Yeah. [00:39:00] Huh? Oh, totally. From Bumble. From Hinge From Tinder. Tinder. From Tinder. My God, I know you heard it here. Oh, and then the most more recent place I’ve been hearing is, um, like gaming, like Twitch or Discord.
So they’re, they’re like playing games online, streaming. Yeah. Yeah. And then they’ll meet somebody on there and they’ll start playing games with them, and they’re like, you know, Hey, I like talking to you. Let’s go do something. Yeah. I kinda love that. Isn’t that it’s, it’s a whole new world. It’s a whole new world.
Okay. So obviously people meet on apps, people meet on Twitch Discord. Yes. Anything else? Any other pro tips? Any? Have you heard of an in real life meeting recently? Has anybody gotten married that met at the grocery store? Can we just stop looking at people in the grocery store? It’s just not happening. I mean, store, I’ve never heard anybody say that.
I Have you heard of an in real life meeting at all in the last few years? Hold on. Lemme think. I mean people that go to a, a party or a get together. Okay. So they have a mutual friend. [00:40:00] I’ve definitely heard that. Okay. So show up, come through. Yeah. Show up to the parties. Okay. Go to that birthday, that kid’s birthday party or whatever.
Right. Alright. Um, I’m trying to think if there was anything else and work was the other one. Hmm. It still happens at work. It still happens? Yeah. Okay. I mean, we are hostages eight hours a day. Right. Some of us. Is there anything else, uh, you want people to know about eloping as an option? As an option? Is that, yeah, just don’t be pressured into doing something you don’t wanna do.
And we talked about the cost of a wedding, use that money for something else, like go on an amazing vacation or like buy something fabulous. But, um, for the two of you, but, you know, um, just have this intimate if that’s what you want. Again, if you want a big wedding. Yeah, of course. Live your truth and invite us.
We, yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. Like we’re amazing on the dance floor. Actually, that’s not even a lie, [00:41:00] right? Um, but no, um, yeah, do it the way that you get married, the way that you wanna get married is what I’m trying to say. And, um, with no social pressures. I love that. Yeah. Well, cheers to you. Cheers to you.
1,293 wedding three. As of tonight, I have one later tonight. Cheers. Cheers.
If you like this podcast, check out, move to tacoma.com. Move to tacoma.com is a neighborhood guide, blog and podcast to help people in Tacoma Pierce County. And beyond find their place in the City of Destiny. More [email protected]. Move to Tacoma is part of the Channel 2 5 3 podcast network.
Check out these other shows. Grit and Grain. Nerd Farmer, interchangeable. White Ladies what say you, citizen Tacoma and Kitchen 2 5 3. This is Channel 2 5 3.